The Note
Dale Wisely, Editor
This was not The Note I planned. The one I planned is lost and it was really good. When I wrote it, I had a terrible cold and apparently had the right combination of antiinflammatory and antihistamine medications in me that allowed for some pretty darn good writing, if I do say so myself.
The mistake I made was composing The Note directly in my browser on the web-based system on which I maintain Right Hand Pointing. After I finished it, I attempted to insert a photograph of a batter at home plate, with a fast ball coming at him. This caused the system to freeze; I hadn't saved the file; and so another one my better works was lost, joining the ranks of, for example, Funky Animus, my opera based on the life of Carl Jung, which was to star the late James Brown as Dr. Jung. In spite of my best efforts and extensive experimentation with over-the-counter cold medications, I can't recreate the magic of The Lost Note. The best I can do is to tell you about The Lost Note.
In The Lost Note, I explained the cognitive and physical processes that allow a major league baseball player to hit a baseball coming at her at 90 miles an hour. Throughout, I referred to the hypothetical batter as "she." This was a subtle commentary on the day we will finally get to see women play in the major leagues, including being seen on TV chewing things and spitting things and adjusting private parts. It was also an attempt to proclaim myself a feminist without actually having to accept responsibility for the non-sexist status of all of my future speech about gender.
I included a passage in which, confusingly, I treated "The Note" as a character, a disgraced former pediatric dentist. I've done this before. In this portion of The Note, The Note (the former dentist), was depicted as suffering from an anxiety disorder focused on the possible presence of an alien-built megastructure in the orbit of a star 1,500 light years away.
I provided a series of so-called "life hacks," including one on how to carve a jack-o'-lantern with one's bare hands. Another explained various methods of paying for very low-cost items with "coins."
Seeking start-up funding, I presented the business plan for a proposed chain of clothing-optional miniature golf courses. West of the Mississippi, the golf courses will be known as "Butt Putt" and east of the Mississippi, "Putt Naked," This is simlar to the Hardee's/Carl's thing, which seems to be the key to that fast-food franchise success. I go into Hardee's several times a week to check to see how similar they still are to Carl's. When travelling, I visit Carl's just to remind myself of some of the trivial differences between Carl's and Hardee's.
I predicted a Biden/Rubio general election contest. I'm now writing this on October 18. How did I do?
Here's issue 92 of RHP. It's a big issue, with some unusual features we hope you'll enjoy. Special thanks to my co-editors Laura M Kaminski, F. John Sharp, and our eagle-eyed copy editor, F. J. Bergmann. And, as always, thanks to you for your support and readership.
Dale
