T h e N o t e
b y D a l e W i s e l y
Here at Ambidextrous Bloodhound Productions we are happy to give you Issue 82 of Right Hand Pointing as we enter our 11th year of bringing you the finest short poetry and fiction of the 21st century, a century historians will one day note for its suckitude. Or at least the first 15 years thereof. Which means, really, RHP has been one of the least sucky things of this century.
Recall that RHP was formed the same year as facebook. Let me offer my mathematical proof that RHP is better than facebook. Consider:
More people say facebook sucks than say RHP sucks, so facebook sucks more than RHP.
Something that sucks less than something else is better than that other thing.
Therefore, RHP is better than facebook on account of its lower suck numbers.
Here's a related proof.
Some cool people say RHP is really great.
Very few cool people say facebook is really great. (Think about it. You know it's true. Your MOM thinks facebook is really great. Cool people just put up with it.)
Therefore RHP is more really great than facebook.
Anyway, enough gloating, which Zuckerberg already hates me for. This is the traditional New Year's Day edition, which many of our readers tell us is the first thing they read in the new year upon awakening, typically at about 2:30 in the afternoon, before returning to bed at 3:00 or so. Many of you have already written this morning and told us about your New Year's Eve date with Jeanine, at Bob Fowler's house out past Lakeview. Whew. Sounds like a good time was had by all, except that guy wearing the raw meat bowtie and not much else who the police took away.
Just a note that next month's issue will be one of our Very Short Poems issues, made up of pieces of no more than 30 words. We're still reading for it. It's usually one of our more successful special issues. Which reminds me of the time I made a call for submission and, to my memory, failed to get a single submission or inquiry. This is when I, your General/Founding Editor, had to come to terms with the fact that I occasionally have ideas too odd for everyone.
The idea, which I floated a few years ago, was for a one-off online issue of a journal to be called The Journal of the North Central Alabama Giraffe Breeder's Association, Volume 9, No. 3.
There was to have been just the one issue. At the time, I cited the chief benefit of being published in the journal, even though it could not have been more obvious. Who would not want to be able to cite a publication in The Journal of the North Central Alabama Giraffe Breeder's Association, Volume 9, No. 3? But, in spite of this obvious perk, no subs. Not to be rude, but I think this calls into question who is really odd, me, or you guys.
Well, here you go with another routine non-giraffe, non-breeding issue. So, Happy New Year from myself and the whole Ambidextrous Bloodhound editorial team, Laura M Kaminski, F. John Sharp, and F. J. Bergmann (RHP), Robert Scotellaro (One Sentence Poems), and Howie Good (White Knuckle). Thanks to all of you for reading this issue and for all your support.