Brad Rose
The 5:45 Crosstown
You don’t have to do all the whipping single-handedly. I know, it’s like a dream come true. It makes a big difference though, if you can’t remember what you thought at the time. Don’t worry; you can always re-study it online. As an American, you’re protected by the Free From Information Act. It’s perfect for those times you don’t have time to set anything on fire. Of course, internet exercise is good for you, but everybody knows that secret. Like any good drowning, it doesn’t have to make a lot of noise. May I suggest you proceed to the nearest exit? It’s what everybody does when they don’t know what they’re doing. Especially the people with the difficult faces. I try to tell them the trouble with obelisks is they have too many edges—you could really hurt yourself on one of those. On the other hand, a tourniquet isn’t necessarily the enemy of blood. Ah, here we are. At least the damn government hasn’t moved the bus stop again.
