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Smells Like Teen Spirit




Mountains are the earth’s muscles.

If your lady friends ever summit

the actual Matterhorn, they’ll think,

“This mountain smells just like

(insert your name)’s armpit."




Is there a better image


than one of those landlords

that live in outer space


and never just “stops by”

to make sure the refrigerator

has been cleaned?


It’s a rhetorical question.




You can send your armpits

to where they will smell

like palm trees and sunshine,


the exotic islands of Fiji

walking off into the sunset

with live Komodo shoes.




While other men

may choose


to transport


via minivans, bikes

or filthy taxis,


you choose

to turn invisible,


both hands

raised triumphantly

in the air.



Source: Phrases found on Old Spice website.


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