Smells Like Teen Spirit

 

1

 

Mountains are the earth’s muscles.

If your lady friends ever summit

the actual Matterhorn, they’ll think,

“This mountain smells just like

(insert your name)’s armpit."

 

2

 

Is there a better image

 

than one of those landlords

that live in outer space

 

and never just “stops by”

to make sure the refrigerator

has been cleaned?

 

It’s a rhetorical question.

 

3

 

You can send your armpits

to where they will smell

like palm trees and sunshine,

 

the exotic islands of Fiji

walking off into the sunset

with live Komodo shoes.

 

4

 

While other men

may choose

 

to transport

themselves

via minivans, bikes

or filthy taxis,

 

you choose

to turn invisible,

 

both hands

raised triumphantly

in the air.

 

 

Source: Phrases found on Old Spice website.

 

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